I was fortunate enough to join my cousin for an online discussion recently, and the question on the table was:
“Does body count matter as a woman?”
Crazy topic, right? But as wild as it sounds, this is still a reality in many Nigerian conversations, especially among men.
Now, here’s my honest take: only an immature man would ask about body count. The moment a man brings that up with me, I’m already out the door. Why? Because it reveals more about his insecurities than it does about me.
But let’s unpack it a little deeper…
The Double Standard
In many cultures, especially in Nigeria, men are rarely judged for their sexual past. In fact, some are even celebrated for it. But when it comes to women, the narrative shifts, suddenly her worth, value, or “wifey material status” is being measured by a number. It’s unfair, outdated, and rooted in patriarchy.
What Really Matters in Relationships
Let’s be real, what actually matters in a healthy relationship is:
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Trust: Can I rely on you?
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Loyalty: Are we committed to each other?
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Emotional compatibility: Do we connect deeply?
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Respect: Do we value each other equally?
Your past is your past. What counts is who you are today and what you’re building in the relationship now.
Why Asking About Body Count is Problematic
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It reduces women to a number.
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It promotes shame instead of openness.
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It exposes insecurity. A confident partner doesn’t need to police your past.
So, does body count matter as a woman? No. Not to me. Not in the real world of healthy, grown relationships.
If anything, the obsession with body count says more about the one asking than the one answering. At the end of the day, love, respect, and commitment will always weigh heavier than a number.
Body count only matters in relationships where judgment outweighs love. The right person will see you as a whole being, not a number.
just my two cent...
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